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I can't easily remember a film I've enjoyed less.
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How to account for the fact that Larry David is one of the creators of "Seinfeld''? Maybe he works well with others. But I suggest he is making a tactical error when he creates a character whose manner and voice has the effect of fingernails on a blackboard, and then expects us to hang in there for a whole movie.
It would give me enormous satisfaction (and relief) to like him in a movie.
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I try to keep an open mind and approach every movie with high hopes. The only way to save this film would be to trim 86 minutes.ĭo I have something visceral against Adam Sandler? I hope not. In taking his name off the film, Arthur Hiller has wisely distanced himself from the disaster, but on the basis of what's on the screen I cannot, frankly, imagine any version of this film that I would want to see. " An Alan Smithee Film Burn Hollywood Burn" The Spice Girls are easier to tell apart than the Mutant Ninja Turtles, but that is small consolation: What can you say about five women whose principal distinguishing characteristic is that they have different names? They occupy "Spice World" as if they were watching it: They're so detached they can't even successfully lip-synch their own songs. If it's this easy to get a screenplay filmed in Hollywood, why did they bother with that Project Greenlight contest? Why not ship all the entries directly to Larry Brezner, Michael Fottrell and Walter Hamada, the producers of "Sorority Boys," who must wear Santa suits to work? I should be a good sport and go along with the joke. This is an old idea, beautifully expressed by Wordsworth, who said, "Heaven lies about us in our infancy." If I could quote the whole poem instead of completing this review, believe me, we'd all we happier. The movie will bring us all together, I imagine, in paralyzing boredom. The movie doesn't work, but was there any way this material could ever have worked? My guess is that African Americans will be offended by the movie, and whites will be embarrassed. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes. "Deuce Bigalow" is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie.
"Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" makes a living prostituting himself. It is too vulgar for anyone under 13, and too dumb for anyone over 13. Through superhuman effort of the will, I did not walk out of "The Hot Chick," but reader, I confess I could not sit through the credits. The movie resolutely avoids all the comic possibilities of its situation, and becomes one more dumb high school comedy about sex gags and prom dates.
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"Mad Dog Time" should be cut into free ukulele picks for the poor. Watching "Mad Dog Time" is like waiting for the bus in a city where you're not sure they have a bus line. But they usually made me care about how bad they were. "Mad Dog Time" is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. I'm talking about the current to the projector. I'm not talking about the electricity between the actors. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.Īdd it all up, and what you've got here is a waste of good electricity. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it.
Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. But what these movies, including "Joe Dirt," often do not understand is that the act of being buried in crap is not in and of itself funny.
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We professional movie critics count it a banner week when only one movie involves eating, falling into or being covered by excrement (or a cameo appearance by Carson Daly).
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